WHY WE WILL STILL BE HERE..
Although I am typically a “glass half full” mode person, last night, I started to feel extremely anxious and fearful. How long will this Pandemic last? What will happen to our business we have worked so hard to build? If we can’t go into people’s homes, how will that change everything?!
This morning, the sun was shining and I decided to do something that would make me feel better. I decided to climb the mountain I have been driving by for TWENTY YEARS saying… “Someday, I will climb it.”
I spent an hour arguing with myself and listening to all of my excuses.” I haven’t been working out.. I’m not sure if I can do it.. No one wants to go with me, maybe I should wait.”
BULL&*^%! That’s not me!!!!
As I pulled into the parking lot at the end of Lone Mountain, I could barely find a parking spot! I felt encouraged by all the other weekend warriors that also had dusted off their tennies to give this a go.
In my typical style, I did really have a “plan.” I didn’t ask anyone the best way to get up to the top and there were no clear trails. So I just started climbing.
At first, I was hurrying and I thought I was doing great!.. when a spry athlete practically jumped over me with the grace and ease of a gazelle. Showoff!
There was a young couple just ahead of me and they were stopping and sitting quite a bit as the trail was STEEP at the bottom. They kept saying you can go ahead.. go ahead!..
and I realized that , FOR ONCE, I wasn’t in a hurry!
I said to them, “Maybe that’s the point! Maybe this WHOLE THING is about slowing down. About stopping to notice when we are tired, and when it feels right to stop and pause. Really? Why am I “running” today? I need to just STOP and enjoy this!
They agreed and we shared a quick conversation. I kept following them up at a distance and sitting down whenever I was out of breath.. which was often..
About a half hour later, I realized my water bottle was gone! And I was only about half way up! DAMN! Since I had headphones on, I hadn’t heard it fall out.
Should I go back? Quit and Come back another day? Can I do this without water??
August, the boyfriend of the couple, offered to go back down and help me find it! So sweet! but I gracefully refused. I said, ” I will go ahead and back track a little and if I find it, great! – if I don’t, someone else needed it more than me.
He insisted on helping me and followed me!.. but I shooed him away – Don’t worry, I will find it!
I backtracked for about 20 minutes and Lo and Behold, I found it! I was so happy – because I JUST bought it and I was parched.
Now, what to do?.. Go home, give up? NOPE! I decided to stay with my plan of reaching the top, because if you know me, you know I am as stubborn as an OX! and I don’t give up easily.
I noticed everyone had their own method of scaling the hill.
I enjoyed seeing all the families smiling in the sunshine and spending time together. Love was in the air as they say…
Everyone was wary of getting too close.. and when a nice man “offered his hand” for a step up, it felt really weird saying “No Thank you”… and being a tiny bit scared to touch a stranger . When he realized what he did he said “OH!!… of course, I am sorry..” what a strange new reality it is all of a sudden.
I realized on my way up that climbing this mountain today was a metaphor for life.
We all get to blaze your own trail. We all can stop on a dime, if we so choose.. and change direction.
We all have different capacities for change, risk taking and making decisions. Today I slid on my butt quite a bit on the way down. I trusted myself to take it one step or one butt scoot at a time and eventually I would “get there.”
There were several moments when I thought, Oh shit! What did I get myself into?!! It’s SUCH a long way down!
When I got stuck or anxious.. I told myself.. Deep Breaths.. just try another way.. Hmmm. that didn’t work.. just try another way..
Then I thought… Seriously, I have been doing this my whole life!!!! I WILL get to the top.. if it takes me all day Who cares??!! I will enjoy the scenery.
More climbing thoughts….. I get paid to use my imagination. So what if Luxury Design is not needed anymore..?
or for a LONG while? Then maybe I’ll become a CHEF?! HA! Or a filmmaker ? Or does anyone know how I can get here? oh yeah… no traveling!!!! Horror….
What are my “ARMCHAIR DREAMS?” the ones I have been sitting on but doing nothing about? What are yours?
What can I/we do with this 30 days to replenish our souls?
I am a big believer in the Manifestation of your dreams by setting your intentions.
and I have been saying to myself for quite a while .. If only I could stay home and organize my house for a couple of weeks… BOOM (it is happening)
If only I could take a month and work out EVERY DAY.. BOOM
I want more time with my teenage daughters before they move out but it’s hard to get their attention…BOOM
I have been moving so fast for so long, I wish I could just slow down for a bit and BREATHE... BOOM…
Yeah it came about in a really crummy awful way.. but it is our current reality.
Do I have financial concerns? Yes.. Do I worry about our future? Yes.. but Marc and I are doers, dreamers, dare I say, TRAILBLAZERS!!!! and we will figure out a way to adapt.
So, what I am trying to say is … I will take this time as a unexpected blessing. I will tune into my higher power and have faith, that eventually we will land on the good side of this disaster.
When will it be “back to normal???” Maybe never…. But I have faith that we will create a “new normal.” And it will be made of sheer determination, dreams and flexibility.
And even if we lose our way… We will just keep moving.. and keep marching right back up to that mountain top!
We owe it to those who can’t or won’t climb.. to be an inspiration those who are ALREADY tired from their journey.. We owe it to each other to keep spreading joy, promoting hope and and if you are strong and can help – to take as many folks with you as you can.
I know we can do it. We are all in this together and together we have unlimited potential.
Do you have your tennies on yet? I’ll see you on the trail…
With LOVE and DETERMINATION,
Jill, MARC and our wonderful team.
P.S. When I got to the bottom of the hill, I couldn’t find my car!!! I Completely lost my sense of direction and had to call Marc as I was just too tired to walk all the way around to the other side of the mountain to get it! ! LOL… I am quite sure I will never hear the end of that! and you know what… It’s FINE.. just another step on my journey today.. Be well my friends and keep climbing.
